Reviews

6 Reviews
Sort by:
Filter by Rating:
Cabin Fever
Cabin Fever (2002)
7/10
"Get Off My Property!"
24 July 2022
A group of horrible teens arrive at a small town the residents of which are even more horrible, and there's also superaids in the water supply. The superaids is incidental, and I'd argue it's even a red herring of a threat. The real threat is obviously how a supernaturally horrible human being everybody is.

In the universe of Cabin Fever, no problem ever gets solved since it is always someone else's problem, until it becomes everyone's problem at which point no one has the power to solve it. It is a downward spiral, a representation of entropy that we are all very familiar with in real life and we know from our real life experience that any and every problem the characters in this film face will result in a major catastrophe due to people's unwillingness to deal with it at any of its stages.

Although there are a few intolerably disgusting frames that might get to you, it's more comedy than horror. Because you can't really feel too bad for anyone dying in agony when they kind of all deserve it. I'd argue we shouldn't feel bad, neither for the characters nor for their reflections in real life. Just keep selling the superaids lemonade like the good "BUSINESSMEN" we all are and get over it.
4 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Malignant
Malignant (I) (2021)
3/10
A Maskless V for Vendetta Clone Walks Backwards into a Police Station
23 July 2022
I expected it to be funnier. No interesting characters (apart from the edgelord spidermonkey), a plot that feels random and senseless, some very bad acting, a soundtrack as cringeworthy as the protagonist screaming in "terror" every 10 minutes as the camera zooms into her open mouth, next to no dialogue in most scenes and whatever dialogue is there is cliche anyway.

Somehow it thinks it's epic and badass. The tone is all over the place so it feels like a fever dream, or maybe it was me getting real sleepy. I would be able to laugh harder at the third act if I was not half dozing by the time it started. You re better of watching the fight scenes on Youtube and calling it a day.

Although I thought two other scenes were also bit decent. The one where they watch the protagonist's childhood memories with her mother and the one where the police officer chases the spidermonkey norwegian black metal band member through some well designed abstract looking environment that seemingly pulls off whatever the film is trying to convey about feelings in relation to some sort of identity disorder.

I don't know if it that was me trying to keep myself awake by pretending to be impressed.
1 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Train to Busan
Train to Busan (2016)
7/10
My social commentary radar is beeping.
24 May 2022
Corporate does an "oopsie" and chaos ensues as usual. It at first looks like a run of the mill zombie apocalype with a more emotionally powerful execution than the zombie genre is used to. At times lighthearted and at times not at all so, with distinct and enjoyable characters that will evidently deliver on the entertainment promise.

What it really subverts about the zombie genre is that the people consistently succeed in survival when they dare to trust each other while dissent and sacrifice doesn't appear to work in their favour. I like the use of the train cars as the setting and how they succumb to the chaos one by one from bottom to top, sorry I mean back to front, as the survivors make selfish and inconsiderate mistakes. Keep your eyes open for relatable metaphors as such.
3 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Enter the Void
Enter the Void (2009)
9/10
Somewhat sadistic
23 May 2022
I have never been so uncertain of what rating a movie should have. Anything from a "6" to a "10" was considerable upon finishing it, and it required great patience to sit through. I wanted to rate it lower because of the insanely slow pace and the excessive amount of sex. This will easily bore you out of your mind unless you can make sense of the drawn out, repetitive scenes.

My guess was that the film is attempting to depict one of those traumatizing nightmarish drug trips you might have read or heard about and it is theorizing about the possible similarity of the death experience. Since we are absolutely in the perspective of the protagonist and therefore must share his experience, it is no surprise that this film felt after a certain timestamp like a prison as the plot eventually lost all meaning and prospect. I just wanted to see how far it will go and how painful it can get.

I also wanted to rate it this high because, apart from the high quality presence of all the regular elements of a film and the successful execution of an obviously unique idea of presentation, towards the end it really impressed me with how disturbing it can become. I don't remember the last time I could materially feel a painful shock inside my head due to a movie scene. Following that, I had to skip parts of the next scene with weird sexual display in a pulsating, high on drugs Tokyo City so I can protect my sanity.
1 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
3/10
An intricate, homely and delirious masterpiece!
25 December 2020
Warning: Spoilers
This old cult classic can at times feel like a film from the future and it is more relevant today than it has ever been!

After the mind boggling perfection that is the opening scene which I have uncontrollably erased from my mind, it delves into the subject of "civilization". A martian father figure is deeply concerned about his children's TV addiction, summons an ancient God as a last resort to save his children from the cruel claws of domineering TV advertisement strategists. The martians watch the Earth from above, an Earth that is magical and full of life in contrast to the dull and over-civilized Mars. It reminds me of Christopher Ryan's book "Civilized to Death", and is most likely an allegory for today's people who yearn to return to the way things were in the past.

The villain, whose moniker is "the black moustache man", represents the toxic masculinity that is opposed to magical things, like Santa, and children. Meanwhile Santa has a white moustache, a true battle of wills represented by such a duality! The black moustache man complains about the excess amount of soy in the atmosphere of Mars softening up all the martian men and plans to kill Santa who is apparently conspiring against his traditional values.

Meanwhile Santa is depicted as an alternative version of "The Mask", always laughing and mocking around, playing stupid and naive while he appears to have the power of a God. In fact he is so powerful that he seems to not take reality seriously at all, a bit too overpowered I'd say. I wanted to see him sneak up behind the bad guys and show them his true powers. And as expected, in the final battle against the black moustache man, Santa is utterly dominant, humiliating, shocking and overwhelming. After a painfully unhinged battle that must have been a fever dream of mine, magic and happiness conquers the dull civility of toxic masculinity.

And all comes full circle crashing down.
2 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Cuck
Cuck (2019)
Truly a Masterpiece
20 February 2020
Hello and salutations,

I was altogether convinced that this movie would be pure and beautiful when I first heard its title. The title awoke incredibly joyful sensations in my heart and sent utterly magnificent signals to myself's brain.

I am a cuck. And to all the reviewers here that claim the alt-right does not exist, I deeply resent and take offense. We, in fact, do exist among the lands of Chad'nbruh. Everything in this movie so accurately depicts and represents our homeland and I relished every second of it. Truly a work of art, truly magnifique, avant garde, chef d'oeuvre, truly a gentleman and a scholar.

Thank You
14 out of 29 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Clear your history

Recently Viewed