Orpheus (1950)
5/10
Orpheus the Orifice
3 January 2015
Warning: Spoilers
This movie begins in The Poet's Café, where a bunch of hoodlum poets hang out. Orpheus is hated by the rest of the poets in the café, because his poetry is so much better than theirs. A fight breaks out among the poets, just the way you and I might get into a fight over some poems we had written. Other poets join in, and it becomes a riot. Orpheus is almost arrested, but the policeman lets him go when he realizes who he is. In fact, he is surprised he didn't recognize Orpheus, since there are lots of pictures of him in his wife's room (Oh brother!).

Anyway, Orpheus is a grouch who is mean to his wife, but we are supposed to understand that he is a genius who has his moods, and so that makes it all right. Death (in the form of a hot babe) kills Orpheus's wife, Eurydice, but instead of being grief stricken, Orpheus falls in love with Death. But he can't get rid of his wife that easily. The old ball-and-chain is allowed to follow Orpheus back to the surface as long as he does not look at her. Well, he never seemed to want to look at her when she was alive, so I don't know why he would want to look at her now, but he does. In fact, he cares so little for her that I suspect he looked at her on purpose so he could be free to make it with Death, the hot babe.

And it almost works, except that we are then treated to an outrageous narrative rupture, in which Orpheus and Eurydice live happily ever after.
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