Review of Teaserama

Teaserama (1955)
2/10
So bad it's bad.
19 February 2004
This film is bad even by 1955's standards. Sexy, it isn't. Even by the lowest rent version of Burlesque, it is a mess. The "Top Banana" has the unfortunate problem of not being funny. Not even with the "take my wife, please" joke. Production values are non-existent. With one exception, the women are...well, you judge for yourself. As for the stripping? You will see more skin on a Cape Cod beach in January than is displayed here.

There is nothing wrong with being tacky. But this is just incredibly boring. One dance goes on for seven minutes and is not one-hundredth as sexy as Rita Hayworth's dance in "Gilda".

The one glimmer of light in the entire film is 1950's icon Bettie Page. Bettie has two dance numbers. Neither of which are very good. She also introduces each act with it's own title card. It is here that she shines. There is a freshness, a sexy naughty girl-next-door quality that she lends to these all to brief moments.

If you are a BIG Bettie Page fan and have a fast forward button then rent this. Otherwise, for your own safety, stay a way from this film at all costs.
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