Yes, Arch Hall Jr.("Eegah")is back, with dad in tow, in yet another unbelievably bad, cheesy, horrifying low-budget cowflop. This time, the Halls have teamed up with Ray Dennis Steckler ("Rat Fink A Boo Boo", "Incredibly Strange Creatures yada yada yada")for an "insider's look" at the sleazy side of the music industry. Arch Hall, Jr. plays Bud Eagle, the Oakie from Miskokie, fresh off the bus with nothing but $.15 and his puffy, livid ugliness. At a coffee shop he meets Vicky, an equally vacuous puffy-faced blonde, who might have passed as his sister, and they immediately hit it off. Vicky is a dancer (sort of...), and gets Bud on the local Teenage Hepcat Show. Bud trips over a wire, sings an awful, falsetto song, does an odd little shuffling dance, and immediately becomes the object of mass teen adoration. I mean, in less than 5 minutes! Naturally, the recording industry is interested, and so Mike McCauley (Arch Hall, Sr., also "Eegah"), an evil, deceitful manager, signs him up. It's not long before dumb, innocent Bud is rapaciously exploited by everyone with 1/2 a brain cell in their head, which is basically everyone other than Bud. Wonderfully horrible scenes uncoil before your very eyes. Bud performs "Vicky", the odious, terrible song from "Eegah", while our favorite snugglebunny Carolyn Brandt (Rat Fink A Boo Boo) performs a bizarre dance with a scarf. 3 unbelievably idiotic crooks decide to kidnap Bud, one of which speaks in appallingly obvious malapropisms that are as subtle as a dead trout("Oh, we'll have the elephant of surprise with that"). Bud finally learns his lesson, out-foxes his manipulative manager, and everyone lives happily ever after. But this moovie... The actors cowstantly touch and stroke each other in the moost disturbing manner. And if ya didn't quite get the point with "Eegah", "Wild Guitar" proves that Arch Hall Jr. hasn't got the talent of the average 10 year-old. And his horrible, puffy face constantly leers beneath his grotesquely bleached pompadore hairdew. Ray Dennis Steckler himself plays Steak (as Cash Flagg), the criminally bland and shady "assistant" to McCauley. All the usual "Steckler" touches are here: the weird musical scenes, the ridiculously staged fights, the wild beach-bash finale, the useless, stupid criminals, the odd little visual bits and sounds that happen for no apparent reason, the jaw-dropping, mind-numbing dialogue. Even the fake-looking desiccated mummies from "Eegah" show up in the crooks' shack. What it all boils down to is an instant cheese classic; it should be shown in every house & vcr in America, in a triple feature with "Eegah" and "Rat Fink A Boo Boo". The MooCow says, if yer a trash moovie hound, then "Wild Guitar" is definitely up your dark, scary alley!!
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