Then look no further than "Octaman", a hideously poor eco-gobbler with eight, count 'em, eight legs....er, arms...er tentacles. Whatever. "Octaman" is a laughably stupid film about a group of idiot scientists and greedy cowboys who search a "primitive hispanic community" for a legendary monster, "1/2 man, 1/2 fish". Of course, octopusses are not fish, but that doesn't seem to matter much to the makers of this film, because they also don't shamble about on land in a rubber suit with wires and zipper plainly in view. Turns out that ol' Octo is a mootant, created by pollution, or radiation, or some such thing - somecow or another we're to blame, yet again. Big Octo doesn't like the way that the dopey scientists are carving up his fake, rubber, whining little octo-friends, so he shambles about like the grimacing Tabonga in "From Hell It Came", slapping people with his rubbery arms whenever possible. As if that weren't enough, Octo then developes an odd sexual fixation on Pier Angeli ("Viva America!"), grabs her, and then ambles about with her in his many arms(Pier died during the filming of this moovie, possibly of acute embarrassment). The scientists try to capture Octo to put him on display by surrounding him in a ring of fire, thereby "eating up all the oxygen around him". Very clever...but, Octo breaks free, gets back into the water, and is able to wave his rubbery arms menacingly yet again. Rick Baker may win 1,000s of Academy Awards from now 'til Doomsday for his make-up special effects, but he will NEVER live down this shaggy skeleton in his fx closet. Poor Octo is one of the moost uncowvincing monsters in film history; his pathetic shamblings evoke moore sighs than actual laughs because Director Harry Essex really thought the sight of a guy in a rubber octopus suit walking about on land would be scary. Ahh, to be that naive again... The MooCow's favorite scene is when Octo surprises the scientists by leaping out of their RV, where he was presumably hiding his zipper and wired arms. Poor direction, uncowvincing acting, and muddled, murky cinematography all help to chop this calamari caper into sushi. The MooCow says rent this for "Shambling Rubber Suited Monster Night", but be prepared for a real stinker. :=8P
