Review of Shirt Tales

Shirt Tales (1982–1984)
Animals don't wear clothes!!!!
3 April 2002
Sweet Jesus! I cannot believe that no one has already commented on this spectacle of modern entertainment; a cartoon about the crazy adventures of a troupe of zany animals that wear "magical" shirts. The details of the show are still really sketchy, since I haven't seen this epic masterpiece since I was about twelve. I remember that the supposed "leader" of the gang is a stupid tiger, who always gets sidelined by the REAL stars of the show: Digger the Mole and the Bogey the Monkey, who was a simian representation of Humphrey Bogart (complete with cigar!!!! Not really; it was a banana...). For the sake of animal rights, I will also mention Rick the Raccoon. The stupid tiger had a female counterpart, Pammy Panda. Again, I can't remember certain things, like the rest of the animals, but I do remember that they were really into "S&M"........I can't back that up. The premise of the show was simple: they live in a tree in the middle of a park and a laugh riot would always ensue! When trouble, usually in the form of velociraptors appeared, the group would "activate" their shirts, a la "Care Bear stare". This act would call the legions of Jedi, namely Luke "I Gotta' Robot Hand" Skywalker. His entrance always involved the Millenium Falcon swooping down with Luke hanging on to the giant bird's tail-feathers. Then he got totally wicked on the army of Decepticons with his trusty Sword of Omens. I know what you're thinkin': "Why did they cancel this show!?", right? Well, we live in a very cruel world, my friend. Oh, I almost forgot about the totally boss intro where Ponch and John are riding their motorbikes side-by-side down the Los Angeles freeway!

A cruel world indeed.
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