Born American (1986)
This Yankee Pride Chest Thumper makes Red Dawn look like Apocalypse Now.
20 November 2000
The movie was directed by Renny Harlin who has never done anything good and it's a wonder why people keep letting him make films... such as: Deep Blue Sea (1999), Long Kiss Goodnight, The (1996), Cutthroat Island (1995), Cliffhanger (1993), Adventures of Ford Fairlane, The (1990), and Die Hard 2 (1990).

This is the only movie I've ever walked out on. Basically three red-blooded American boys are deer hunting in Finland. They ignore HUGE signs in English warning them not to wily nilly cross over the border into the USSR. They happen on a town where there's been a murder. Borrowing from most Doctor Who plots, it's assumed the new comers committed the murder. With their shotguns they proceed to level the town and slaughter most of the paratrooper garrison stationed there.

In one classic scene, as the characters discuss the virtues of America and why it has won them the battle this day, a flaming man casually runs by.

Alas their brave fight is in vain for they're captured and promptly handed over to the KGB. For reasons not explained, their release is negotiated by a British diplomat. Ostensibly the USSR and the USA do not have diplomatic relations so the Brits are asked to help. This Brit is as evil as the KGB. Over vodka and comely sex slaves recruited from a nearby Gulag, the boys' fate is decided. They're to disappear... this little matter of 3 American boys wiping out a regiment of the USSR's finest troops would be an embarrassment to all concerned.

After having their nipples wired to car batteries and some torture, they're thrown into the Gulag.

We're now forced to endure scene after dreary scene of them cold, damp, sick, and suffering in a recycled set from Hogan's Heroes.

For more reasons not explained, there exists a labyrinth under this gulag where guards force prisoners to play a form of living chess. Prisoners battle each other to the death with crude knives, maces, and trash can lids for shields.
6 out of 21 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed