I, like everyone else in the world, let the gut-wrenchingly-cute Foreman melt my heart in 1983's Valley Girl. After that classic performance, why did her career go nowhere? This movie answers that question. Foreman is as beautiful and likable as ever, and her character has so much charm you really, really WANT to like this movie. But it's just not possible. The soul-less script was seemingly written in a day by randomly pulling gags, plot elements and scenes from a dozen other exploitative, formulaic b-movies with no consideration of whether or not they added up to a meaningful story. What I thought was a fresh, authentic performance by Foreman in Valley Girl has mutated in My Chauffeur into stilted, ham-fisted overacting. In her defense, she has very little material here to add any authenticity to. The bored, lifeless actors around her in every scene (such as the unalterable, dreary Howard Hessman) and the totally cardboard dialog she has to recite are insufferable. The film is tastelessly exploitative. Various scenes showcasing incongruent nudity, foul language, and other unseemly story elements are unskillfully layered over a basically boring plot in an attempt to transform the story into a wacky, unpredictable adventure. Such crude attempts rarely succeed. At one point, when Foreman's character is informed of her apparent unwitting incest, she simply cocks a wry grin and giggles a coy, "We've been BAAAD!"
That's right, little lady. You've been "BAAAD" all through this movie.
That's right, little lady. You've been "BAAAD" all through this movie.