Review of Illusions

Illusions (1992 TV Movie)
1/10
About as entertaining as a root canal.
5 August 2000
This film is like watching paint dry--NOTHING exciting happens. The better part of the film is spent watching Heather Locklear sleeping, having the same bizarre nightmare over and over again. Locklear, Carradine, Samms and Beatty never seem to leave the house, which gives the film an extremely stiff and claustraphobic feel.

Carradine doesn't look much different than he did in "Revenge of the Nerds"; I half-expected Booger to show up. Perhaps that's typecasting, but it caused me to have a real hard time believing his character could actually be married to someone like Locklear. Besides, the dialogue is so plastic and the acting is so wooden than you don't care about their relationship anyway.

Not only do I have trouble belieivng that this film was actually made, but it's even harder to believe that pay movie services still have the audacity to show it. Yes, it's really that bad. And the voiceover by Locklear's character does sound like it was recorded by someone else.

They recommend drinking warm milk or counting sheep if you can't get to sleep; I suggest watching this movie. It will knock you out from sheer boredom. I gave it a 1 out of 10; absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
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