Money Train (1995)
That's what we live with!
21 August 2002
Personally speaking, I don't quite know what to make of this picture. I saw it again on late night cable the other night and I was laughing hysterically throughout. Wesley and Woody play two brothers (!) who work as transit cops. Woody's a gambling junkie with a huge debt on his back while Wesley plays the straight man who's getting a little tired of constantly having to bail his brother out. Desperate, Woody plans to hijack the Money Train that rides along to each station, collecting the night's collections. Folks, believe me when I tell you that it actually gets more ridiculous. Add to the mix a pyromaniac token booth bandit, a pre-lobotomy Jennifer Lopez, Robert Blake in a performance so hammy that you can almost smell the bacon coming from your tv, action sequences that are unabashedly ridiculous and you have yourself... Money Train. My favorite moment comes when Robert Blake, after having been informed of the possibility of civilian casualties if the hijacked Money Train continues to speed ahead on the local line, responds with the now-classic line, "That's what we live with." I was laughing so hard that tears were squirting out of my eyes. This movie is utterly ridiculous yet strangely riveting. Wesley Snipes plays his usual cocky, confident self and it seems to me that he won't accept a role these days unless he gets to kick someone in the face. Woody Harrelson looks like he smoked one too many blunts in this one. I actually prefer his character here over Wesley's and that's not saying much. Jennifer Lopez looks damn good but I can't help but think how stupid she is in real life. I really don't know where else to go with this review other than to recommend watching it. You might like it but not because it's quality stuff but because it'll cheer you up, it's so bad. Actual rating ** out of ***** but on the laugh-o-meter I'll give it a full **** out of *****.
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