Review of Mosquito

Mosquito (1994)
"What in God's name happened here?"
18 February 2003
I didn't think you could make a career out of crap, but sadly I've been proven wrong. Mosquito's director, Gary Jones, has made two more of these oversized animal movies! Incidentally, the flick was written by the "legendary" Gunnar Hansen, who is also one of the main characters. I could dog Mosquito pretty hard, but for the straight-to-video huge animal/insect sub-genre, it's probably the best (with Ticks coming in as a close second). It's just so funny. I can't tell if the laughs are intentional or not. There are some things that are so absolutely hilarious that you have to believe they wrote it that way to get a laugh, but you're never quite sure. Here's the best dialogue shared between our characters: "If I wasn't having such a sh*tty day, I'd kill you right now." "Men a lot better than you have said that to me before, many times." Who has said that to you??? I really want to know. Another favorite line is when Gunnar picks up the chainsaw. "I haven't handled one of these babies in twenty years." That is, of course, a reference to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and I have to believe that it's the only line Gunnar actually wrote. And Steve Dixon is Chef from South Park. Period. If you want to have a fun night, catch Mosquito. Hell, I own it.

Here's a note to half of the other reviewers: Can you not tell the difference between a bathtub and a fridge??????
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