Give me some money. I'll write this thing, direct it, and shoot it ALL NEXT WEEK.
"Action movie"? Where?? Not in this box. Without the little *WHACK* and SLAP noises whenever somebody gets hit, there's really no way to tell what's a hit and what's a miss. And did you know? If you point a gun at somebody, and just kinda kills whatever's over there, unless it's your friend. The gun knows, man. Yeah yeah yeah. WHAT?
Oh, wait, wait, maybe it's a comedy! Nope, it's just random.
The script sucks. Character history? Nah, who needs it. Costs too much, anyway. The plot makes no sense. The actors did uhh, an ok job, I guess. They must've had contracts or something, that they couldn't break. I don't know how they maintained a character through the gauntlet of this script. The directing must've been really good, for them to have any chance. But wait? Same guy wrote it and directed it? Wow, ok, the actors are pretty good, I guess.
Man... Wow. This surpasses even Deep Blue Sea, in how much it sucks.
Oh, I guess the wardrobe is nice, though it doesn't fit the reality that the script completely failed to mimic. But it isn't really aesthetically pleasing as a whole.
It, like the rest of this movie, is like a puzzle put together with a five-pound sledge hammer.
And I guess the actors were all, uh, aesthetically pleasing too, unless they were supposed to be stupid. Then they weren't. Because, you know, when you're dumb, you get ugly. That's just how nature works. There are little cells that get killed by neurons firing, called ugly cells. So it's TRUE! The dumber you are, the uglier you get! Ha! I learned something from this movie! And wait! I just lost 5 pounds!
Ahhhhhh... Do NOT see this movie.
"Action movie"? Where?? Not in this box. Without the little *WHACK* and SLAP noises whenever somebody gets hit, there's really no way to tell what's a hit and what's a miss. And did you know? If you point a gun at somebody, and just kinda kills whatever's over there, unless it's your friend. The gun knows, man. Yeah yeah yeah. WHAT?
Oh, wait, wait, maybe it's a comedy! Nope, it's just random.
The script sucks. Character history? Nah, who needs it. Costs too much, anyway. The plot makes no sense. The actors did uhh, an ok job, I guess. They must've had contracts or something, that they couldn't break. I don't know how they maintained a character through the gauntlet of this script. The directing must've been really good, for them to have any chance. But wait? Same guy wrote it and directed it? Wow, ok, the actors are pretty good, I guess.
Man... Wow. This surpasses even Deep Blue Sea, in how much it sucks.
Oh, I guess the wardrobe is nice, though it doesn't fit the reality that the script completely failed to mimic. But it isn't really aesthetically pleasing as a whole.
It, like the rest of this movie, is like a puzzle put together with a five-pound sledge hammer.
And I guess the actors were all, uh, aesthetically pleasing too, unless they were supposed to be stupid. Then they weren't. Because, you know, when you're dumb, you get ugly. That's just how nature works. There are little cells that get killed by neurons firing, called ugly cells. So it's TRUE! The dumber you are, the uglier you get! Ha! I learned something from this movie! And wait! I just lost 5 pounds!
Ahhhhhh... Do NOT see this movie.