Review of DragonHeart

DragonHeart (1996)
Go for the dragon, endure the rest
18 January 2000
In all, the movie spends its entire length saying "Stop watching for plot, or listening for good lines, or paying attention to the humans, just watch the dragon and wait patiently for him to return when he's not onscreen. We'll keep him visible as long as money allows, and tease you with off-screen cop-outs when we run out of money. In the end, when asked how the movie was, you'll say 'The dragon was way-cool!' and in doing so give it a favorable review."

So that's basically all you can do. The movie is just burning time with everything else besides the dragon. They take a super generic and flat script about a last dragon and something about half a heart and fill it with semi-name actors and vaguely familiar faces saying unchallenging and easy-to-swallow lines of dialogue in an effort not to offend you before the next dragon scene. The sword-fighting was of the "Swing at Each Other's Swords" school, but you aren't there for sword fighting anyway. The red-haired chick from Starship Troopers beats up the big blonde guy from the X-Files, David Thewlis sneers, Quaide grimaces. All you're left to do is wait patiently for Big Sean's voice to start booming, saying all the best lines of course, since he's the dragon and the audience is paying attention when he talks, and he does some dragonish things and generally shows off his computer-generated freedom. We're not expected to be interested in anything else, so everything else is uninteresting.
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