`Santa with Muscles' is exceeded only in sheer awfulness by the 1962 Mexican film "Santa Claus" for the honor of Worst Holiday Movie of All Time. The title is fitting, seeing as the scriptwriters have brains denser than Hogan's muscles. Hogan plays an egomaniac (not far off from his reputation amongst wrestling insiders) millionaire who markets workout products. Through some agonizingly convoluted plot devices (and calling them plot devices is generous), he gets amnesia and thinks he is Santa Claus. Mayhem ensues with evil samurai wanna-be's, evil elf wanna-be's, evil Ed Beagly Jr. wanna-be's (wait, that IS Ed Beagly Jr.), an orphanage with no orphans, exploding crystals that don't explode, and Garret Morris thrown in for good measure. If you want a movie that you can comprehend, go rent Eraserhead. If you want a movie that will make you laugh, go rent Isthar. But if you want to stage a screening of the all-time worst Christmas films, rent "Santa with Muscles". And get the above-mentioned "Santa Claus" movie, and also that other really bad one with Dudley Moore. You are guaranteed to clear unwanted holiday guests.
Review of Santa with Muscles
