1/10
The Disenchantment of Star Wars
27 May 1999
Warning: Spoilers
Keep in mind while reading my comments that I am - and always will be - an avid Star Wars fan. The first three films helped define my childhood and have stayed with me into early adulthood. The themes and the sheer FUN of the trilogy are truly rare in this day and age.

That being said, "The Phantom Menace" is perhaps one of the worst films I have ever had to sit through, and a disgrace to both Star Wars and Lucasfilm. A true embarrassment, I was near tears through most of the film. Seeing it on opening night, I was thrilled as the trademark intro script scrolled up the screen. Everything that followed was truly horrifying, starting with the most ridiculously stereotypical Asian alien bad guys this side of Ming the Merciless. Add to that a completely dreadful script, way too many effects, no discernable plot line, and dreary "action" sequences, and you have yourself a real stinker. And I won't waste any space talking about the apocalyptic disaster that is Jar Jar Binks.

Poor Ewan McGregor, Liam Neeson, and Natalie Portman!! Three of the finest actors to grace the screen today, and they have nothing at all to work with. Meanwhile all the dialogue goes to Jar Jar and Anakin, played awfully by Jake Lloyd. Sidenote: Am I the only one concerned with the fact that through the whole movie everyone calls the future Darth Vader "Annie"???

Darth Maul would be a formidable villain, assuming, of course, that he had any lines, which he doesn't. He is silent during his entire lightsaber duel with Neeson and McGregor, eliminating the verbal duel that was at the heart of Vader's fights with Luke in the original series. His role seems detached and his presence does not seem to effect the sequence of events in the least.

And let me say this: there are too many effects. They are not even that impressive, not for a lack of technical wizardry, but because the action they portray is either confusing or non-existent, and there is none of the tension in any of the battle scenes which is even close to that found in its technologically ancient granddaddy, "A New Hope". In fact, considering the technology available, the scenario of the battle scenes seems pretty ho-hum-ish if not trite.

There is not enough room to write all the terrible things about this movie. They even reduce the Force to microscopic organisms that live in the bloodstream. This was the most disappointing movie experience I have ever had. Mr. Lucas, if you or any of your people read this, please take to heart the ramblings of a disgruntled but faithful fan in order to make Episode II much better.
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