1/10
Flaming heap of swill
2 June 2002
Warning: Spoilers
Oh my God ... what a bunch of twinkies this crew was. Can you really see this cadre of know-nothings and yahoos building a stable sandcastle, let alone a small freaking village? And why, yes, an adult male and two kids take on twenty submachine-gun toting pirates with their bare hands ALL the time and win.

Well, yes, it's so heartwarming and nice to see loving families overcome all obstacles with the help of togetherness, but what message does this really send? That if you have enough drunk scriptwriters mailing it in, general incompetence miraculously vanishes and is replaced by split level treehouses and liana-wrapped elevators? I've been in love with Jane Seymour for 25 years, but give me a bloody break.

Awful, awful, awful.

1/10
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