Review of Red Planet

Red Planet (2000)
1/10
Why? Why did they even bother?
30 November 2000
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is so 1) predictable 2) formulaic 3) unscientific 4) stupid I walked out of the movie shaking my head, wondering why did even bothered? What were they thinking? This movie could have been a bad made-for-tv movie or a bad episode of Stargate - but the idea of thinking people should pay for this?!?!?

SPOILERS ABOUND AHEAD:

The anti-science in this movie just makes the entire movie Soooo hard to swallow. There are several other user comments regarding how ridiculous the 'gravity' on the spaceship was. Or setting the AMEE 'navigation' robot up w/ killer capabilities, getting the 50 year old modem to work, and on and on. Add to that: Humans last hope is terraforming Mars. So they send up unmanned drones to 'seed' the planet. And they leave sensors for O2. Nothing else. No flotilla of orbiting satellites to get telemetry. No command system. No visual. In the late 20th century NASA was able to get live VIDEO from an unmanned rover and THOUSANDS of telemetry points from Mars probes. (well, until they crashed...) But a half a century later 'Houston' couldn't dedicate any more resources that O2 sensors: FOR THE ONLY HOPE LEFT FOR EARTH.

When the crew gets to Mars, they are stunned to find that there is breathable air there. Guess the scriptwriters forgot that the entire reason for sending the crew was because the readings from the sensors said the O2 was dropping. Hmm, Mars inflicted amnesia?

This goes on and on. The escape aboard the Russian rock carrier was the only really funny part of the movie. It takes an incredible amount of work to get a ship to have enough power to get into orbit w/o killing everyone aboard. (1960 rockets killed the test animals inside.). So here we've got this old clunker that allows humans to withstand orbit velocity! The air available in the spacesuits is also funny. Early in the movie Gallagher has no air left. All gone. By the end of the movie he has enough to fly off into space. The trapeze 'rescue' by Bowman at the end also makes a mockery of the laws of physics.

PLEASE save time and money and take a nap instead. You'll feel better for it.
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