Review of Octopus

Octopus (2000 Video)
The Worst Monster Picture I have Ever Seen!
17 February 2003
"Octopus" is utterly boring; and patently ridiculous. What a pathetic waste of a perfectly good Cephalopod. So much time is spent setting up the plot that the octopus gets lost. Sure, the little heroine is totally cute. She can act too; but she can't save this mess on her own. The title "Octopus" is almost a non sequitur! During the interminable espionage conundrums, I kept thinking, "Who cares?" and "Where's the octopus?" And since when do octopi have insect mouthparts? Wouldn't a six foot long cephalopod beak suffice to scare us? The director forgot the monster, and was seemingly trying to remake "Executive Decision" in a submarine; badly. The dialogue, the action and the resolution of this muddle all violated the one axiom of monster pictures. They were boring. The entire film is boring, from start to finish. I am a dedicated monster picture fan and I won't bother to watch this catastrophe again.

I am frequently amazed that none of the directors of modern monster pictures never consider the "Old Man and the Sea" concept; the idea that nature itself is frightening and challenging. This entire film could have been made with six or seven people in a sailboat, trying to fend off a large cephalopod, or two. After all, we need some octopus fodder.

Don't bother with this one. Really. If you're a monster fan it will just make you mad.
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