Review of Swimfan

Swimfan (2002)
You've Got To Be Kidding Me
13 March 2003
I have a few things to point out about the ending (so it's best not to read ahead if you've not witnessed this)...

Okay, so Madison is arrested and we think all is well, right? Not just yet folks! She manages to grab the officer's gun (as if they sit in the back-seat of a patrol car with a prisoner beside them -- and are foolish enough to let this happen anyway. And if so, they deserved to be shot) and shoots both cops. THEN she strikes again, by kidnapping Amy - Ben's typical, nothing special blah girlfriend, who was terribly UN-entertaining, and plans to drown her by cuffing her to a chair and pushing her into a swimming pool. At this point, we think Amy is doomed. But no... wait... Ben just HAPPENS to have the very same hairclip Madison gave him when they first met, in his back pocket, which enables him to unlock the cuffs and save her! The climax is Madison drowns, leaving everyone relieved and able to go on their merry way. ::gags herself:: Right, okay. ::rolls eyes::

How hideously ridiculous is that? Granted, I knew this wasn't going to be great for starters, simply because it was setup like most movies directed at the 13-17 age range. Hollywood must assume all teenagers are complete idiots and that we will not stand for any type of film that requires us to use two (or less) brain-cells to grasp the meaning of a storyline. I mean, after seeing movies like this, you'd think any schmuck off the street can be a screenwriter. Look kids, it IS possible to shovel this kind of garbage into the faces of movie-goers, who knew?! What happened to originality in the cinema world? Maybe this was more suspenseful and clever on paper, in a script - although highly doubtful - it certainly wasn't executed well onscreen. A total letdown. Grade: D (Cause it wasn't the most horrible I've ever seen, hard to believe, I know).
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