Review of Solaris

Solaris (2002)
1/10
boring, undeveloped remake is a total waste; save your money
1 December 2002
The first five minutes of this film are so torpid and dull, you just know you're in for something. You're hoping it's a set-up to pull the rug out from under you when you least expect it. Sadly, there is no rug; the rest of the movie remains at this underwater pace all the way to its unsatisfying and hokey ending.

The premise is intriguing enough, but little is done with it. Instead of focusing on the thriller (unraveling the mystery of Solaris), the back story of Clooney and his lost love takes over. This is dull beyond belief--partly because we know it's history and partly because Clooney's lover is a character that is so moody, aloof and unsympathetic that we really don't care about her at all. What should have been one flashback--or at most a montage--becomes almost half the film. And the wrap-up of the main story ensues without answering any of the mysteries of Solaris. We never know why it does what it does. There's nothing to spoil, here, folks. Because there are no surprises.

Then, as if the content weren't dull enough, they add insult to injury by filming the thing like a student film on a shoestring budget with unending tight shots and close-ups...as though they couldn't afford any sets. With the amount of money amassed by the talent involved, this is not just annoying--it's unacceptable. If it was an attempt at an effective use of claustrophobia, it failed miserably. As does the film. We were sold a sci-fi thriller with big names at the helm. What we got is a cheap, poorly conceived, dismally executed, plodding shaggy dog story that should be used to calm ulcer patients and nothing more.
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