Ankle Biters (2002 Video)
1/10
No no no. Give someone a digital camera and they think they're a film maker.
17 January 2003
What's going on? I'm sure you used to have to show some sort of vague talent before someone let you make a film? I rented this from the video store, and I was expecting bad acting, lots of blood, cheap horror, vampires biting ankles. But this???

I'm not going to complain about things that were constrained by budget, as obviously you've got to start somewhere etc, and this guy clearly had no money. But there was no creativity whatsoever.

The lingering, slow, purposeless shots of cars... driving... down... roads. And the action scenes without the merest hint of directing talent, or actors willing to do any kind of stunts. And no matter how many times you reverse a shot of someone jumping off a tall thing, it doesn't make it "charming" or a "marvel". And what was with that scene in the middle where the sound goes really quiet? If you're reading this director-man, did you not watch this film once you'd made it? Obviously you had no boom mike, but you can't just make a scene where you can't hear the plot.

I read the back of the video sleeve - dwarf vampires take over the world - and though this could perhaps be the best film ever made. Sadly not. It's not big or clever. It's not cult. It's just badly made.

A person making a film on celluloid would had to pay for every foot of film, thereby making them careful and selective with what they shot. But if this is the way things are going with DV, I think I'd rather poke out my eyes than watch another amatuer DV film.
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