A giant, quivering, steaming pie! Seriously, there was not a second of this that was not stupid. There was no attention at all paid to character development, dialog, acting, directing or editing. I think a couple of times my jaw was actually hanging open in shock at how insipid this was. We are not talking "Showgirls" insipid. This is an insipid that makes you wish there was a real 10.5 that would erase Hollywood. The fact that a 10.5 Earthquake is not even possible on the San Andreas is irrelevant. If there was even one character or piece of dialog, for that matter, that was not written at the "Disaster Film School of Cliches" I would not be writing this. Why did they think it had to be four hours long? What if they had cut out all the bad parts in editing and looked up to find there was nothing left to show? Could they have just run the opening and closing credits back to back? Now that is a movie I would have watched.
