Ankle Biters (2002 Video)
1/10
Bites
8 January 2005
This film is pretty much just a $10 ripoff of the Blade films but with ghetto biker zombie vampire redneck MIDGETS. Basically, there's a sword that exists that can transform a tall human who is stabbed with it into a vampire, as it is the same sword that killed the last tall vampire. Or something. The ghetto biker zombie vampire redneck midgets get ahold of the sword by making a deal with some mobsters and then it's up to Drexel and his midget pal, T-Bone, to kill the evil midgets or something. Meanwhile, the evil midgets stab a redneck mechanic, and he becomes a vampire slave. So, the rest of the film is some fights between midgets and some walking around and some talking and some horrible redneck acting. And a slow-motion backflip scene.

I can honestly say that there's NOTHING to like about this film. It's a rare film that isn't so bad it's good... it's just plain BAD. It's just a boring waste of time, with the ONLY POSSIBLE SAVING GRACE being that you want to watch to see how amateurish and terrible things can get. Drexel is one of the worst human beings in history.

Awful.
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