Review of Alaska

Alaska (1996)
4/10
Nonsense, but worth watching for Birch and Heston.
2 February 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Watched this on TV because I really wanted to see Thora Birch acting at 14. SPOILERS follow (but nothing you won't work out for yourself five minutes into the movie).

There's lots of nice scenery, and some decent animal training, but it's poor for lots of reasons – it views like silly cutesy kids schmaltz, maybe because that's what it is. Birch is good – not as dazzling as she is today, but you can see it coming. Charlton Heston has always been a fine actor and a great star and, in a feeble role as a comedy heavy, gives an acting masterclass to everyone around him.

There's one ghastly vomit-inducing moment which shows how lightly some of these hack movie-makers regard the characters they've created. OK, setup: Dad's a pilot who's just taken a job in Alaska, daughter Birch loves the outdoor life up there, slightly older son hates it, wants back to Chicago and never stops moaning. As soon as Dad's plane goes down, we know the rescue services are going to fail, the kids will have to get the job done, and the whole point of all this will be to get son reconciled with Dad. Setting off, all is sensible enough. The girl knows how to kayak, the boy doesn't, so he screws up, complains about aches and pains etc. And we carry on more or less like this (trying to ignore the comedy poachers and the cutesy baby polar bear). The girl's strong, resolute, sensible and resourceful, the boy's initially hopeless, but toughens up fast into a worthwhile companion. And then comes this moment. I wondered what was going on when, after they've both carried big rucksacks all the way, suddenly, for no reason, hers is gone. Just a continuity error? – I wish. They're climbing this mountain, the kind of thing they've been doing for days, when out of nowhere (and right out of character) girl suddenly whines: 'I can't climb any more. I'm tired,' setting up boy's macho return: 'Come on, I'll carry you if I have to.' The boy has to be transformed from incompetent wimp to tough-guy hero, the tough-guy needs a feeble girl to look after, and if we have to sacrifice the brave strong character we created earlier – hey, she's only a girl, after all, right?

Don't pay to rent this, but if you see it on TV – did I mention it's got Thora Birch?
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