I can recall the event clearly... There I was... sitting upon the floor, my cousin's beside me. One of my cousin's friends had brought in a rental DVD and presented it to us with a smile stating it was "the best movie ever created". Looking at the title, a rush of excitement hit us as we realized that Dungeon's and Dragon's (a game we had all loved at one time or another) had finally been made into a respectable movie. As we opened the DVD, an aura of evil emanated from it, and although we noticed the clear evil coming from this DVD, we were expecting "the best movie ever created". However the moment the screen turned on, our cousin's friend slinked away, muttering something about the apocalypse. What followed was quite possibly the worst movie experience of my life. After this horrid event, I didn't watch a movie for about 6 mouth's, and I was too scared to turn on the TV, thinking that at any time the ear splitting screech of snails was to come upon me. Now... at first, we were slighty amused by it. However as time went on we realized the grand mistake we had made for watching this disgusting excuse for a visible object. DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS. ALSO IF YOU ARE TO READ THIS, YOU MAY WANT TO BUY A COUPLE OF VIALS OF HOLY WATER TO THROW AT YOUR COMPUTER AS YOU DO.
Alright... First off, Problem one, Snails. WHAT KIND OF A HUMAN BEING IS NAMED SNAILS??? His mind blowing screeching of RIIIIDELLLLYYYY is just plain and flat out horrifying. The acting? Throwing mine own dung at the wall would be more entertaining. The special effects? Half the scenes looked like they we're drawn with crayons. The random dwarf? Who was that guy? He just appeared, drop kicks the guy with the blue lips and then runs away to join the lard filled team. Next... If any of you did see this (then you better bathe in the river Jordan :p) you may recall how they found the "thieve den". THEY FOLLOWED A OUT OF PLACE BLUE HEADED GUY!!! How they heck did they know he was a thief? Was it is skin color? Does that mean every thing blue steals? ... Alright then you may remember how (when trying to enter the cave) The dwarf runs into the barrier. After clearly hurting himself doing so, JUST TO DOUBLE CHECK!!! HE RUNS INTO THE THING AGAIN!!! Now there are far too many things to mention and I can truly say the only good part was when snails somehow randomly died ... O but the worst part... Was the ending. EVERYONE TURNED INTO RED ORBS AND FLOATED AWAY!!!!!! AMAZING!!! Does that mean their all dead? What the heck was that supposed to be? If one could give a negative score, I could definitely see the digits after the negative sign on rating of this piece of garbage (which is being as kind as possible to this worthless lard) reaching around the sun. Don't WATCH IT!!! IF you do or did... I just don't know how you could live with yourself, get yourself exorcised or something.
Alright... First off, Problem one, Snails. WHAT KIND OF A HUMAN BEING IS NAMED SNAILS??? His mind blowing screeching of RIIIIDELLLLYYYY is just plain and flat out horrifying. The acting? Throwing mine own dung at the wall would be more entertaining. The special effects? Half the scenes looked like they we're drawn with crayons. The random dwarf? Who was that guy? He just appeared, drop kicks the guy with the blue lips and then runs away to join the lard filled team. Next... If any of you did see this (then you better bathe in the river Jordan :p) you may recall how they found the "thieve den". THEY FOLLOWED A OUT OF PLACE BLUE HEADED GUY!!! How they heck did they know he was a thief? Was it is skin color? Does that mean every thing blue steals? ... Alright then you may remember how (when trying to enter the cave) The dwarf runs into the barrier. After clearly hurting himself doing so, JUST TO DOUBLE CHECK!!! HE RUNS INTO THE THING AGAIN!!! Now there are far too many things to mention and I can truly say the only good part was when snails somehow randomly died ... O but the worst part... Was the ending. EVERYONE TURNED INTO RED ORBS AND FLOATED AWAY!!!!!! AMAZING!!! Does that mean their all dead? What the heck was that supposed to be? If one could give a negative score, I could definitely see the digits after the negative sign on rating of this piece of garbage (which is being as kind as possible to this worthless lard) reaching around the sun. Don't WATCH IT!!! IF you do or did... I just don't know how you could live with yourself, get yourself exorcised or something.