It's difficult to express just how atrociously bad this Duck shoot is. The Ducks have, en bloc, won scholarships to the snobbish private school Banks (Vincent LaRusso) attends. This offends the sensibilities of the varsity hockey team. WHY it offends them is never made entirely clear, since the Ducks will probably assure continuing championships for their school, establishing a "dynasty" tradition of which the current varsity players will be the spearhead. Much mayhem ensues as the two rival cliques play vicious trick after vicious trick upon one another. (I don't consider covering someone with fire ants or dining and dashing on an $853 restaurant bill to be "jokes" -- they are just plain sadistic.) A very thinly veiled sadism is apparent throughout D3. The final victory of the Ducks is *not* achieved through skill, expertise, or courage -- it is achieved by physically brutalizing the varsity team. (Is it a spoiler to reveal what any eight year old knows even before watching a Mighty Ducks movie? They *never* lose The Big Game. Watching these things is about as suspenseful as watching moss grow.) In the most egregious act of brutality in the movie, one of the varsity players is hurled off the rink, through the glass enclosure, and into the stands, which is physically impossible, which may be why the crowd grows wild cheering for it -- ignoring the very real possibility that the varsity player has broken one or both legs, possibly his spine, and has undoubtedly received a concussion. This is a *good* thing because the now permanently crippled high school student doesn't like Pacey ... er ... Charlie.
One of the stupidest moments is the saving of the scholarships of the Ducks (yeah, the same old stuff Disney has been spewing out since Tommy Kirk and Kurt Russel were doing teen comedies for them). Their attorney (of course the Ducks have an attorney!) argues that the scholarships offered to and accepted by the Ducks is a contract binding the school to allow the Ducks to play hockey. Hunh? What fool writes a scholarship grant which gives the recipient power over the grantor and the school? What kind of Mickey Mouse lawyer did the school have writing those things? (Maybe that was the problem -- they needed one of the Mouse's attorneys.) Even more idiotic is the moment when the Ducks are allowed to keep their own team name and colors instead of being Eden Hall Warriors. What? The baseball, basketball, and football teams are going to change *their* team names and colors because of a freaking *hockey* team?!?! In Canada, maybe, but this ain't set in Canada.
Yeah, the kids are cute, but ... well, that is the *only* thing this piece of duck dreck has going for it. Watch it with the sound off and look at their perfect, pretty punims. Nothing anyone says in this thing is worth listening to. It is certainly nothing that children should be allowed to watch -- this thing is so viciously, sadisticly violent that I think the MPAA should have given it an "R" rating -- no one under 17 admitted without a parent or guardian.
One of the stupidest moments is the saving of the scholarships of the Ducks (yeah, the same old stuff Disney has been spewing out since Tommy Kirk and Kurt Russel were doing teen comedies for them). Their attorney (of course the Ducks have an attorney!) argues that the scholarships offered to and accepted by the Ducks is a contract binding the school to allow the Ducks to play hockey. Hunh? What fool writes a scholarship grant which gives the recipient power over the grantor and the school? What kind of Mickey Mouse lawyer did the school have writing those things? (Maybe that was the problem -- they needed one of the Mouse's attorneys.) Even more idiotic is the moment when the Ducks are allowed to keep their own team name and colors instead of being Eden Hall Warriors. What? The baseball, basketball, and football teams are going to change *their* team names and colors because of a freaking *hockey* team?!?! In Canada, maybe, but this ain't set in Canada.
Yeah, the kids are cute, but ... well, that is the *only* thing this piece of duck dreck has going for it. Watch it with the sound off and look at their perfect, pretty punims. Nothing anyone says in this thing is worth listening to. It is certainly nothing that children should be allowed to watch -- this thing is so viciously, sadisticly violent that I think the MPAA should have given it an "R" rating -- no one under 17 admitted without a parent or guardian.