Review of Rhinestone

The above quote was from a old trailer, which ran incessantly on TV, plugging the first " Rocky" movie, which was truly excellent. It refers, of course, to our hero, "Nick Martinelli", aka Sylvester Stallone. Whether a series of "Nick Martinelli" films, ala "Rocky" and "Rambo", was planned I do not know. I imagine that the various Italian American image organizations would have bridled at the thought, since this character did for Italians in this country what Steppin Fechitt accomplished for black people. They should have put together a trailer for this film stating, "He has been compared to Shemp Howard, Pinky Lee, and Rags Raglan." When Dolly Parton takes the acting honors in a film that you appear in, Sylvester, then the Marlin Brando comparisons were probably premature. There are two types of really bad movies, and it is really not fair to mix them together. Movies like "Manos" and the "Roller Blade Seven" are pure garbage, and they were intended to be. The filmmakers had no money, no talent and no discernible script (or the ability to obtain one)to work with. They produced a piece of trash. It is inevitable, like night follows day. The people who rent the tape or CD know it's junk. Their friends even tell them that it's miserable nonsense before they see it. They don't care. It's like sticking your tongue into a cavity. Your going to do it anyway; you don't care if it hurts. That's what makes this type of bad movie much worse-- Somebiody was trying to make this good!! They had so-called "Big Name, High Profile" talent, a large budget to work with, and I presume competent script writers and directors. Didn't anybody actually look at the "rushes" of this film, or did Stallone's STAR power intimidate everybody.One look at he scene where Stallone is singing (horribly) and bobbing up and down in that Reservation Indian hat should have been enough to stop the whole project in its tracks."Lets start over. I think we can work up a new plot line where the rednecks push the city kid too far. They try to bath him and give him a short haircut. He escapes to his taxi and starts to run everybody over. He makes it to the singing engagement just in time to see Dolly get raped by her manager. He kills him and blows up the whole town. Richard Crenna is a country record promoter and he flies in from Nashville to extract Nick. A little similar to something else, but it will work." "He has been compared to Hugh O'Brien, Sonny Tufts and Morgan Fairchild."