I saw this movie years back when it first came out. I was a kid and a wrestling fan at the time, and Hulk Hogan in a movie? You're darned right I'm going! My brother, dad and I went the very first week it opened! Good thing we did, because it didn't last to week two.
The movie is basically Hogan as an out of work wrestler. His manager/agent Burt (Sherman Helmsley) can't get him any in ring work because him and Hogan told a promoter they weren't throwing matches. You may say, isn't wrestling scripted like a play? Yeah, but this is 1993. That was still a secret. So anyway, Burt can't put him in the ring so he gets him a job as a body guard for a scientist who just created the chip to some missile or something. Hogan thinks he's golden until he learns that he's not guarding the scientist: he's guarding his kids. The kids are little monsters who have terrorized every nanny they've ever had. Plus one added twist we didn't see coming: HOGAN HATES KIDS!!! So who will have the last laugh, Hogan or the kids? The answer: not the audience.
The kids play cruel jokes on Hogan in order to get him to leave. These include short-sheeting his bed, making his exercise bike go really fast and causing him to fall into a pool of red seaweed. I know. The horror. Hogan sticks in there, though, and gets the kids to like him once he spends time with the daughter Kate and teaches the son Alex how to stick up for himself. Of course the son uses his brains, because violence is never the answer. Especially when an ex pro wrestler is on the job.
The kids finally fall in love with the Hulkster for good when he punishes them. If God were kind it would be by him giving Alex a big boot and dropping the legdrop on Kate. Sadly, he doesn't even give the "YOU!!!" finger. After making them sit on a couch for about an hour, the kids finally respect him and listen. Because their dad never did it and that's why he failed, get it? The movie finally ends when the villain who is trying to steal the chip turns out to be the same wrestling promoter Hogan and Burt told to take a hike years back. That's right: a wrestling promoter turned world-domination villain. Not even Vince Russo could write that piece of gold! The villain, who has a metal skull cap for reasons I don't have the energy to type, is finally vanquished and Hogan isn't needed anymore. But he doesn't leave empty handed. He learns an important lesson about a children's love. Plus he ties Kate's dolly to his motorcycle. And good times are had by all. Except those who have sat through this piece of crapola.
I loved this movie when I was a kid. I watched it over and over (haven't watched it since and I still know the whole story). I laughed my head off every time and wondered why it didn't stay in the theaters longer.
Now? Oh, I'll still watch it. But not because I think it's good.
The movie is basically Hogan as an out of work wrestler. His manager/agent Burt (Sherman Helmsley) can't get him any in ring work because him and Hogan told a promoter they weren't throwing matches. You may say, isn't wrestling scripted like a play? Yeah, but this is 1993. That was still a secret. So anyway, Burt can't put him in the ring so he gets him a job as a body guard for a scientist who just created the chip to some missile or something. Hogan thinks he's golden until he learns that he's not guarding the scientist: he's guarding his kids. The kids are little monsters who have terrorized every nanny they've ever had. Plus one added twist we didn't see coming: HOGAN HATES KIDS!!! So who will have the last laugh, Hogan or the kids? The answer: not the audience.
The kids play cruel jokes on Hogan in order to get him to leave. These include short-sheeting his bed, making his exercise bike go really fast and causing him to fall into a pool of red seaweed. I know. The horror. Hogan sticks in there, though, and gets the kids to like him once he spends time with the daughter Kate and teaches the son Alex how to stick up for himself. Of course the son uses his brains, because violence is never the answer. Especially when an ex pro wrestler is on the job.
The kids finally fall in love with the Hulkster for good when he punishes them. If God were kind it would be by him giving Alex a big boot and dropping the legdrop on Kate. Sadly, he doesn't even give the "YOU!!!" finger. After making them sit on a couch for about an hour, the kids finally respect him and listen. Because their dad never did it and that's why he failed, get it? The movie finally ends when the villain who is trying to steal the chip turns out to be the same wrestling promoter Hogan and Burt told to take a hike years back. That's right: a wrestling promoter turned world-domination villain. Not even Vince Russo could write that piece of gold! The villain, who has a metal skull cap for reasons I don't have the energy to type, is finally vanquished and Hogan isn't needed anymore. But he doesn't leave empty handed. He learns an important lesson about a children's love. Plus he ties Kate's dolly to his motorcycle. And good times are had by all. Except those who have sat through this piece of crapola.
I loved this movie when I was a kid. I watched it over and over (haven't watched it since and I still know the whole story). I laughed my head off every time and wondered why it didn't stay in the theaters longer.
Now? Oh, I'll still watch it. But not because I think it's good.