1/10
Less than the Sum of its Parts
11 August 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Wow, where to start? Joel and the crew of MST3K's Satellite of Love have covered most everything. The only redeeming quality of the un-mistied version version of the movie is the soundtrack, which I would love to grab on vinyl -- the synthesized background music is like "Trump"ed up Yanni, Tangerine Dream and Wendy Carlos all mixed together on B-rate univoxes. WIthout the soundtrack to tie it together, this movie seems like three separate films hastily tacked to one another during a short weekend of Bolivian flake-fueled editing. As an added plus (read: minus), the wardrobe choices are reminiscent of a Vanity 6 / Loverboy World Tour. From a directorial standpoint, it's nearly unwatchable, and the major plot twist is likely to be missed entirely due to two identical costumes. The scene with stop-motion animation is worse than a dozen California Raisins Holiday Specials. You may have to watch it several times to even tie the characters to the flimsy plot, and who would want to do that? Not intended for American audiences, but I'm pretty sure it's awful in all cultures. 1/10
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