1/10
How not to write, act, direct... score is nice, pretty too
4 September 2005
If it is all about love, then where is the love of the audience? There are two stories here co-joined in the most hideous and thoughtless of manners. In the first plot line we have a figure skater held captive by her family and forced to skate in spite of a heart condition that she doesn't know about… And then the estranged husband returns to get divorce papers signed, and he helps her to escape (which is what I should have done myself 10 minutes into it!) There's more extra crap in this plot line that doesn't develop either.

Plot line #2, the planet has lost gravity, selected people only, (except they float up so they got thems the antigravity- you tards!) in Uganda. (where are physicists without borders?) People die because their hearts are lonely. It snows in July in NYC. "You see peoples' hearts reflect the chaos of the world around them." which must have seemed profound when written under the influence of (?)Vodka, X, Blow, D-all-of-the-above. Modern polish existential drop-out curse the society's heartlessness, the planet is dying can't you see. All we need is love.

How did Claire and Joaquin get themselves into this? Is it sheer pride that makes these two think that they make this poop shine? It's a job? The skinny Penn brother has a remarkably stupid role with accent to go with it.

This is to movies what spam is to E-mail, keep it out of your in-box.
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