2/10
Slithis rocks out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3 December 2005
"We catch that mean mother!" What a piece of 70s tripe this movie is. Bad on many different levels.

Not totally inept.

It actually could've been a fairly decent little movie, but the biggest problem is just how BORING it is. Why are these movies so BORING! I start to watch them and after a half hour my eyes start drooping. I can't help it.

I think it would have helped if they had shown Slithis in the light more often. We keep seeing him in the dark and apparently they couldn't afford LIGHTS on this movie so he basically just looks like a big shadow.

But then, on the flip side, when we do get a good look at him, the Slithis costume looks pretty lame, so I guess you just can't win.

It also might have helped to actually have a few more scenes of Slithis killing people or doing things. Or just a few more scenes of Slithis in general. The characters are flat out dull, so that doesn't help.

It's a bad sign when you start thinking "wait a minute, isn't this a monster movie?!" because you can't remember the last time the monster was On screen!!!!!

The movie isn't totally without interest. But I wouldn't go out of my way to see it.

And I'm certainly not going to sit through the freakin thing again (I don't think I'd be able to without falling asleep)

POINTS OF INTEREST:

  • the hero who has a girlfriend named "Jeff"


  • the first five minutes of the movie (why exactly are they in slow-motion?)


  • Dr. John's jaw-dropping scientific explanation of what Slithis is (even the actors look bored).


  • the turtle race peopled by throngs of shouting fans (definitely my idea of killer Friday night entertainment). Also note the girl who kisses her turtle after it wins. Yuck.


  • the guy who takes his date back to his boat where he has a shrine to himself complete with photograph and candles (also, why in the world does this scene go on for fifteen minutes? I thought I was in a different movie)


  • The funky "Slithis cam" apparently achieved by taping a balloon over the camera.


  • the police chief who looks like Ron Jeremy and acts like Peter Lorre after 100 cups of coffee.
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