2/10
There are no heroes
7 January 2006
This is like finding out that 6th grader who's always jumping over stuff with his mountainbike is lactose intolerant. Leslie Nielsen plays a guy called Dick Dix in this movie, and guess what, that's one of the better jokes. It's absolutely painful to see Leslie Nielsen in this movie, desperately looking for one bit of material that he could make work. The script centers mostly around slapstick that doesn't go over at all, but sometimes it takes a break from that and goes for some terrible political satire. This is a movie that gets a Clinton impersonator, and focuses on how he plays the saxophone. That's hard-hitting satire right there. Remember how Clinton always played the saxophone? I do, kinda. Later Nielsen narrates about a woman's finesse while she's beating everyone up. Comedy. Pavarotti also threatens to castrate a guy, the pope swears, the three tenors sing "In The Navy", did Germans write this or something? The type of comedy isn't even consistent, one time it's the aforementioned slapstick, then it's "satire", then suddenly the writers remembered they didn't have any in-jokes yet. So they put in like ten in a row. This thing sucks like you wouldn't believe.
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