A lot of shooting, growling, and roaring happens in "Underworld: Evolution." This second installment of the centuries-old war between werewolves ("Lycans") and vampires ("Vampires") evidently picks up right where the entirely forgettable first part ended. Director Len Wiseman seems to appreciate that the particulars of the first film may not be so fresh in our minds, and helpfully includes a flashback montage that, I believe, is actually the entire first movie in fast forward. And there's still all of this one to get through. It's like an unintended double feature.
"Underworld: Evolution" opens in the 13th century, in what appears to be a department store Christmas village set. Vampires and Lycans fought then, too, but the vamps then wore "Lord of the Rings"-style chunky armor with nose pieces, rather than skin-tight leather. Right about here - that is, the beginning - I stopped knowing or caring just what the hell was going on. This film delves so absurdly deep into monster genealogy that one so inclined to be concerned with it all would need a flow chart to keep up.
We rejoin the pale yet comely Selene (Kate Beckinsale) from part one, on the run with her ally Michael (Scott Speedman), who is coming to grips with the fact that he's a new, evolved breed of wolf/vamp, with the happy result that he occasionally turns blue and grows long fingernails. Selene is intent on waking up original elder vampire Marcus from his tomb to catch him up on all of part one's treachery. Turns out that Marcus has already gotten up, though, and himself is intent on eating Selene, because her "blood memory" contains the location of the eternal prison of his brother William, the original Lycan. Marcus wants to free him. Also, their father is still alive, and lives on a ship with an army. Or something. At this point, some questions may occur to you, such as:
1. How come one brother was a wolf and one a vampire? 2. Doesn't blood constantly regenerate itself? How can it have a memory? 3. Did the effects team from "Land of the Lost" also work on this film?
The answers, as far as I can tell, are:
1. Because 2. This is VAMPIRE blood, remember 3. It appears so.
Surprisingly, though, "Underworld: Evolution" isn't as bad as the above implies. True, family trees are only interesting if they're your own (and usually not even then), and the film showcases the same goofy effects from its predecessor, but there's no denying that both films have a stylishness about them. The winged Marcus, whose appendages are weapons as much as transport, is a superior villain to the punky wolf and geriatric vamp of "Underworld," and the movie mostly keeps moving, making comprehension of its finer points utterly unnecessary. "Underworld: Evolution" contains some mumbo-jumbo to the effect that killing Marcus and William, the progenitors of their species, would destroy their entire lines. So by the end, when they're all chopped up and such, and Selene's voice-over starts talking about more battles ahead, we're again reassured that it's fine to just watch these films without any understanding of what they're about. Maybe it will all get cleared up in "Underworld: Intelligent Design."
"Underworld: Evolution" opens in the 13th century, in what appears to be a department store Christmas village set. Vampires and Lycans fought then, too, but the vamps then wore "Lord of the Rings"-style chunky armor with nose pieces, rather than skin-tight leather. Right about here - that is, the beginning - I stopped knowing or caring just what the hell was going on. This film delves so absurdly deep into monster genealogy that one so inclined to be concerned with it all would need a flow chart to keep up.
We rejoin the pale yet comely Selene (Kate Beckinsale) from part one, on the run with her ally Michael (Scott Speedman), who is coming to grips with the fact that he's a new, evolved breed of wolf/vamp, with the happy result that he occasionally turns blue and grows long fingernails. Selene is intent on waking up original elder vampire Marcus from his tomb to catch him up on all of part one's treachery. Turns out that Marcus has already gotten up, though, and himself is intent on eating Selene, because her "blood memory" contains the location of the eternal prison of his brother William, the original Lycan. Marcus wants to free him. Also, their father is still alive, and lives on a ship with an army. Or something. At this point, some questions may occur to you, such as:
1. How come one brother was a wolf and one a vampire? 2. Doesn't blood constantly regenerate itself? How can it have a memory? 3. Did the effects team from "Land of the Lost" also work on this film?
The answers, as far as I can tell, are:
1. Because 2. This is VAMPIRE blood, remember 3. It appears so.
Surprisingly, though, "Underworld: Evolution" isn't as bad as the above implies. True, family trees are only interesting if they're your own (and usually not even then), and the film showcases the same goofy effects from its predecessor, but there's no denying that both films have a stylishness about them. The winged Marcus, whose appendages are weapons as much as transport, is a superior villain to the punky wolf and geriatric vamp of "Underworld," and the movie mostly keeps moving, making comprehension of its finer points utterly unnecessary. "Underworld: Evolution" contains some mumbo-jumbo to the effect that killing Marcus and William, the progenitors of their species, would destroy their entire lines. So by the end, when they're all chopped up and such, and Selene's voice-over starts talking about more battles ahead, we're again reassured that it's fine to just watch these films without any understanding of what they're about. Maybe it will all get cleared up in "Underworld: Intelligent Design."