4/10
Twisted mess!
14 February 2006
I had reasonably high hopes when first watching this "horror" of a movie, based on other IMDb users' reviews. I was quickly disappointed. After the ridiculous "firefly" opening credit sequence (or flaming ashes or whatever the hell they were supposed to be), we get to see the bulk of the cast preparing to head back to an old summer camp they used to frequent, having all won a free trip. None of them seem very enthusiastic due to events past, but since it's free and they can all catch-up with each other after a year or so they decide to go for it.

Later, when they're all there, tensions start building and people are at each other's throats over the "death" that happened last time they stayed at camp. The main character's boyfriend knows nothing of it, so some girls explain it to him - his girlfriend's mentally-challenged brother was burnt to death in a barn out front. We get a nice flashback that tells the whole story, except what the hell actually caused him to self-combust. The brother wanders into the shed in a sulk and inexplicably looks up to see a flashing red light, which makes him scream. Why? Next thing you know he bursts out of the barn on fire, and his sister appears from nowhere screaming in slow motion. Reeling from the news, the boyfriend is wary of the days ahead...

A few minutes later one of the couples is murdered in the same barn; no one notices. The next morning, more are murdered - no one notices. Each time a character disappears and is killed, no one knows they are gone, and when someone is asked of their whereabouts, they reply with some noncommittal answer. Some friends, eh? The killer is exposed as some half-human, half-beast creature that growls like a drowning zombie. Tracking him (apparently he's been there the whole time the group were last at camp) is the ground's caretaker, an Indian descendant who's ancestors were burned at the stake by Civil War soldiers. He claims one of them put a curse on the campground, and thinks this thing is the result. The film makes great play of hiding his motives... is he actually the killer or is he just out to stop the real one? He spends all of his time screaming and threatening the group and at one point nearly bursts into tears in front of one couple about his kittens - "I NEED 'EM!" he shouts.

Also coming on the scene later is the town sheriff, whom one of the girls manages to call before getting killed. He arrives in his old, '50s-vintage rust bucket that he had to get his granddaughter to help him fix in an earlier scene while a random African-American man sat watching in disbelief! I couldn't help but join him! Didn't the County Sheriff's department see fit for him to have a proper police vehicle? He's also very old and spends nearly a minute examining two victims in the dark before deciding to do something about it. He doesn't do much. At the end the killer is exposed as someone we know and the lead female character has something to do with it. Can her new boyfriend and the miserable old caretaker stop them in time before all are lost? Barely. The film also fails to tie up all loose ends, such as motive and what the hell exactly happened to the brother. Was it the old Indian curse or what that made him self-combust? This kind of writing affects the film badly. It is a shoddy mess, with what looks like a lot of ad-libbing and last-minute ideas. How someone could fund such a screenplay is beyond me. The characters are typical wannabees who think they're all so cool and spend their time doing nothing but drinking and moaning. I did like that older, mustached guy though. Can't remember the name. He drove the silver Ford Thunderbird that had sugar in the gas tank (another lame plot point). A lot of his lines are actually genuinely funny, although the scene where he snaps at the cabin and goes off at everyone, screaming "You're an asshole! F@#% you! And your brother was an asshole too! I'm glad he's dead!", etc is unintentionally hilarious. I was rolling around at that scene. The other actors just stare at him and you can tell one girl is trying not to laugh. Great stuff.

The same unfortunately cannot be said for the technical side of the film. The direction is uninspired and dull. Lighting in a lot of the scenes is poor and I don't know what was going on with the music, I don't even remember it. The gore scenes were fairly effective, though some parts defy belief (the first victim flying up in slow motion in the barn). There was quite a bit of blood and also some nudity, which never hurts. I also have to say that the acting is pathetic, although it looks like some of them really did try. It just didn't make a difference. The script however was the worst, and the fact that the director didn't do anything about it and fix the mistakes ruined the film. Not as bad as some of them, but not the best of the '80s slashers either. You can do much better in terms of sheer entertainment value.

Oh yeah, that ice shed was pathetic, too. Stocked year-round when no one has been there for over a year and ice is still in large, perfect blocks even with a hatch in the roof wide open and no obvious refrigeration source. The girl who is trapped in there also goes into hysterics after ten seconds, even though she thinks her friends did it... See what I mean about the acting?
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