Homecoming (2005)
1/10
What a piece of crap
11 June 2006
Wow, it's rare that I see a film soooo bad that I can't find a SINGLE good thing to say about it. But Blood Deep is that kind of film, the kind of film bad enough to taint an entire film festival. If this was the only movie you saw at the otherwise great "4th annual Another Hole in the Head film festival", it might turn you off to the entire program, which would be a damn shame. Here are a couple of notes, just for the "director", Todd Kniss; I know it was your first time at bat and you struck out with the wood still on your shoulder, so here are some tips so next time you can at least go down swinging.

First thing I want to bring up to you is the title. If you are going to name you film "Blood Deep" it better be bloody as hell or at the very least have some depth. This timesuck has neither....NEITHER! There is for all intended purposes, no gore in this film, and less blood than the average episode of any crappy prime time crime drama, which coincidently is where most of these horrible, just plain awful "actors" busted their chops. But a great or even adequate film doesn't need gore and blood to entertain, as long as the story and characters are engaging. All the characters in "Blood Deep" are flat and boring as hell with all the depth of a puddle of urine. But I can't fully blame director Todd Kniss for that, some of that fault must rest on the shoulders of the writer, which unfortunately is Todd Kniss!

Second, don't hire three "actors" that all look alike down to their silly haircuts to play the red herrings! , I don't care how good of friends you are with them, or how cheap they are, casting actors that have similar features in a film like this makes it confusing for the audience. All of those "possible killers" look alike and with the horrible lighting and sloppy camera work neither I nor the people I was with could tell them apart.

And the third and final pointer, don't make anymore "movies" it's going to be embarrassing enough trying to explain to your parents and friends (soon to be ex-friends) where the money you borrowed went. Because I can't believe it went into production costs. But to be fare, the THIRD time I started drifting off to sleep in the last half hour of the film, I just gave into the warm comforting "Blood Deep"-less arms of slumber. So who knows maybe it got really, really good after I zonked out. But according to my friends that accompanied me, the fools that were willing to see this hunk of junk until the end, the answer would have to be a resounding "Hell No!"
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