2/10
Sorry, Nothing 'Sexy' About It...
21 June 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Back when the Playboy Channel was a novelty, I used to sneak in a few 'naughty' softcore movies here and there when my parents weren't looking. (This was years before the "V-Chip" and "parental controls.") So I caught this late one night since the previews had aroused my curiosity (besides the obvious.) I wish I hadn't bothered. (The English-dubbed version was simply known as "Charlotte.")

TUBULAR BELLS had long before been one of my favorite pieces of music, and even after a portion of it was used in THE EXORCIST, it only mildly creeped me out, now that I knew it was only one piece of a wonderful composition. Well, I have Roger Vadim to thank for achieving what THAT movie had done only temporarily.

Most of it was dull and slow-moving, and I fell asleep a couple of times. Then I woke up at just about the end of the movie. GREAT.

*SPOILER AHEAD*

So after all the usual heavy-handed symbolism, faux-debauchery and artsy-fartsy photography, the "romantic" lead male strangles the unlikable titular character to death during sex, after which he performs a REALLY horrific sex act on her "ex-mortis" before blowing his brains out, all to the lovely strains of Oldfield's music. NICE.

For the next few months after that, I felt as repulsed by TUBULAR BELLS as poor Alex the Droog was by "old Ludwig Van" in A CLOCKWORK ORANGE. The memory of this cinematic atrocity did recede into memory after a while, and now listening to TB is enjoyable again.

I see that this movie has never been available on DVD. I hope it stays that way.
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