House of Wax (2005)
6/10
WTF, this was actually decent!
4 July 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Because it's usually what most people want to know about, I'll get it out of the way right now; Paris Hilton dies a horrible death, and it's exciting, because she does it well. Yep, I'll admit it; for her first film she did a good job. No grammy, but she did a better job than some of the other cast members in making her death and the events that lead to it believable and fun. She runs, she fights back, and her character was supposedly **Major Spoiler** pregnant, so when she dies it's even more of a shame.

That said, Paris is annoying in her indifference and pompous attitude...

There, conscience cleared.

Anyway, this movie received a lot of crap but I found it enjoyable. In fact, part of the reason I liked it so much is probably because I was expecting so little. I honestly just wanted to watch people die, but a couple of the victims' deaths were surprisingly upsetting to me. Especially Dalton, who grew on me in an odd, annoying way I cannot explain. Like fungus.

Unfortunately, this movie wasn't all great; everything was predictable. From the beginning I predicted who would live and die and in what order. Imagine that, I got it right! I managed to figure out the ending before the bad guys were even dead, which is really bad considering the ending is supposed to surprise. I also found the main character, Carly, just plain annoying. I can't explain why, so maybe it wasn't the fault of the actress, but I still desperately wanted her to die. Oh well.

In any case, the movie was fun and enjoyable, not to mention plenty gory, even if some of the gore didn't make a large amount of sense, i.e., Wade being encased in wax yet his eyes suffered no dry ickyness because of being unable to blink. It's the little things you notice...

Would I have paid to watch this in the theatre? Probably not, but as a rental I didn't regret my decision.
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