5/10
Daft horror yarn that loses its way thanks to a lazy script and arty direction
22 July 2006
Warning: Spoilers
If you were going to pick a director to helm a zany comedy horror, Shinya Tsukamoto would not be high up your list. Though a master artist and a consummate professional, Tsukamoto's mainstay is obscure art-film like Tetsuo and Bullet Ballet. Yes Tetsuo is effectively a horror and is as balls-to-the-wall frenetic as you're ever likely to see, but it's not a straight horror and it certainly isn't funny past the madcap energy it's possessed with.

This is why Hiruko just plain doesn't work. It's apparently Tsukamoto's only foray into studio movies, and I can see why they never brought him back. For practically the entire movie, Hiruko threatens to A: Make the characters believable and B: Let loose with the creatures and the silliness, but Tsukamoto gets distracted every time by the possibility of a well-shot flashback or artistically edited kill sequence. Newsflash, if you're going to decapitate somebody in a horror movie, do it properly. No one will be shocked, so get on with it and don't hack it into 75 different shots to try and justify the violence.

Hiruko manages to at times pick up the psychotic pacing and energy of the Evil Dead series, and Tsukamoto is obviously influenced by Raimi's style, but hasn't picked up on the silliness of the Evil Dead films. The gleeful overkill and total disrespect for realism they showed is in part present in Hiruko. However, sequences like when the goblin traps itself under a saucepan and wanders about aimlessly, or another bit where a character crawls away from the goblin at speed and accidentally traps his arms in a cardbard box are genius, but they're sandwiched between constant dull plot exposition.

And oh lord, the dullness. Instead of concentrating on the cool things about the characters and plot, like Hieda's habit of making anti-goblin equipment out of his kitchen utensils or the fact that the other fella is growing little heads on his body every time the goblin kills someone, Tsukamoto falls into textbook Asian horror cliché A. What is that folks? C'mon, you know it and so do I! That's right! The 'oh god I did something awful and must atone for it by fighting with supernatural forces beyond my comprehension and OH LORDY you appear to be some kind of reincarnation/chosen one and ALONE have the power to stop this' cliché. My god, if I see one more film from Japan where the main character accidentally let someone die and their mate has to save them I will resign and start watching romantic comedies. Seriously, write something else, and preferably don't make yer horrors overly complicated. Basically, splatter horror (which this basically is, arty and overly-complicated as it is) is like R-Type. It sure as hell didn't need much of a storyline in the 80s and it still doesn't now. Leave the clever stuff to psych-horror like Shutter.

Hiruko the Goblin is unfortunately a textbook exercise in how to over-think making a genre flick. If Tsukamoto stopped thinking (unnecessarily) about an incredibly ropey plot and minor details and concentrated on making a kick-ass horror comedy about head-stealing spider-goblins (which this movie could so easily become with a few minor tweaks) it would have rocked, but unfortunately it just stands as an awkward and at times extremely dull art-house stab at a genre movie.
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