Review of Spasms

Spasms (1983)
1/10
It's pretty spastic, alright!
5 November 2006
Unimaginably lame and cheap 80's movie that has Oliver Reed (in his, hands down, worst performance ever) obsessing over some kind of gigantic serpent he's inexplicably connected with. He arranges the animal to be sent over to university professor Peter Fonda's laboratory, where it naturally escapes and goes on a rampage in the nearby park and housing estate. This crap movie won't appeal to fans of grotesque creature features, nor will it to lovers of typically cheesy 80's horror. The inventors of the story were stupid enough to use an unreal snake-species, so don't expect to actually see the creature as nobody knows what it looks like. Instead, the screen turns blue when the events are supposedly seen through the snake's eyes and its victims just try to look terrified as the camera rapidly approaches them. William Fruet, who's actually a personal favorite horror director of mine because he made the very competent "House by the Lake" and "Funeral Home", totally messes things up here, as he never manages to create any tension and completely fails to make the viewer emphatic with the characters. There wasn't enough money to finish the film, so they seemingly also cut back on lighting and set pieces. The whole thing is extremely dark and lacking decors. I bet Peter Fonda is still wondering to this day what purpose he served by accepting this role, as he adds absolutely nothing at all.
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