Yep. Although he seems like a nice enough guy to grab a beer with and shoot the gab. Unfortunately he can't write dialogue and I'm tired of the same tired old clichés and flat jokes he trots out every two or three years to keep his mouth-breathing perpetually pubescent fanbase satisfied. Was I expecting an enlightening experience from Clerks II? Of course not. But I was expecting a few laughs, and I didn't get them. A couple of chuckles here and there, but nothing I wouldn't get from listening to drunks outside my window on a Friday night. And that's unscripted and free of charge.
Atom Egoyan is often nailed by critics for overusing his questionably talented wife in lead roles, but he's got nothing on Smith. Good lord. Having to watch Emma and Dante make out stands as one of the most unpleasant things I've ever had to bear witness to. The "boob" flash was the runny icing on the dried out cake. I had to stop the movie and check the IMDb to see who she was and how on earth she was cast as Rosario Dawson's competition. Not much of a contest. I mean, fair enough, it's admirable that Smith is looking out for the love of his life, but damn. A hint of verisimilitude couldn't hurt could it? Rosario Dawson vs. Veiny Cokehead Anorexic Washed-Up-Porn-Starlet looking girl doesn't really come off as a fair fight. But I'm being mean. Sorry. But in all seriousness, get that woman some friggin protein. For the love of god.
So yeah, I didn't like the movie. But who cares, right? Kevin Smith's legions of fanboys will keep him warm and safe at night, and are most likely yelling "EFF OFF!" and "LIKE YOU COULD DO ANY BETTER!" at the computer screen as they read this.
Hopefully he'll retire from film-making and concentrate on blogging.
Atom Egoyan is often nailed by critics for overusing his questionably talented wife in lead roles, but he's got nothing on Smith. Good lord. Having to watch Emma and Dante make out stands as one of the most unpleasant things I've ever had to bear witness to. The "boob" flash was the runny icing on the dried out cake. I had to stop the movie and check the IMDb to see who she was and how on earth she was cast as Rosario Dawson's competition. Not much of a contest. I mean, fair enough, it's admirable that Smith is looking out for the love of his life, but damn. A hint of verisimilitude couldn't hurt could it? Rosario Dawson vs. Veiny Cokehead Anorexic Washed-Up-Porn-Starlet looking girl doesn't really come off as a fair fight. But I'm being mean. Sorry. But in all seriousness, get that woman some friggin protein. For the love of god.
So yeah, I didn't like the movie. But who cares, right? Kevin Smith's legions of fanboys will keep him warm and safe at night, and are most likely yelling "EFF OFF!" and "LIKE YOU COULD DO ANY BETTER!" at the computer screen as they read this.
Hopefully he'll retire from film-making and concentrate on blogging.