1/10
Why does god hate me?
1 March 2007
Why can't I give this zero out of ten? I can honestly say that this is without a doubt one of the biggest pieces of crap I have ever watched in my entire life.

The cast for a start! I know...let's get Jimmy from the new adventures of superman to play a lead role! WRONG! Oh...you know who is really funny? Marlon Wayans! WRONG! I think the biggest injustice in the film is the ruining of Jeremy Irons career. I literal felt it being flushed down the toilet while I watched it. I tried to keep watching in all honesty, but I kept on vomiting blood from its sheer awfulness.

The dwarf keeps disappearing, the orcs don't attack anyone, there is a big slow guy walking around wearing blue lipstick, Richard O'Brian is forced into a camp off with said blue lipstick wearing man, it was far too long (by too long, I mean it exists in our time and space), in one scene Jeremy Irons looks as though he is mounting the guy with the blue lipstick...why oh why oh why does this film exist? For those of you who have seen this...I pity you. For those of you who haven't or have considered doing so, save yourself some time and just ingest bleach. It's equally as fun.
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