Review of Lethal Tender

Lethal Tender (1996)
5/10
I deserve a Brie omelet for sitting through this!
8 May 2007
Warning: Spoilers
Okay, bad guys let by Kim Coates invade a water facility and threaten to poison the drinking supply as a front for an even bigger crime perpetrated by Gary Busey, only to be foiled by The Lawnmower Man! (Jeff Fahey in a performance that screams "I'm just collecting a paycheck.") Carrie-Ann Moss is supposed to be the sidekick along for the ride, but she actually fares better than the guy protecting her! The Good: For a B-movie, the set-work IS top-notch. Two real water facilities were used and this was taken advantage of throughout the movie. The heels in the movie obviously knew this was a crap gig and hammed it up all the way through. Kim Coates in particular was on a role as the dick-head leader Montessi, with one-liners galore.

The Bad: This was supposed to be a Die Hard clone, but there were maybe six bad guys at most. Any police force could have eaten these guys before dinner, but we get David Chase (Jeff Fahey), so the baddies have a chance. Instead of brute force, Fahey should have used his wooden, monotone delivery to subdue the criminals, as it would have been more effective. Carrie-Ann Moss puts a feather in her cap long before Fahey gets his stuff in gear and even is the deciding factor in Fahey's survival - and we're not even halfway through the movie! The bad guys, while funny, are equally inept. In fact, the enemy met their demise largely due to internal backstabbing and their own errors, not due to Chase! There were several times where Montessi could have ended the threat of Chase but instead gave him An Easily Escapable Scenario as Austin Powers would put it.

The Ugly: The "Sass Jordan-esquire" song at the end of the movie, which is also the lone song on the "soundtrack." This would have rated higher for camp reasons if the "action" scenes had, you know, action! As it is, a 5/10 for intentional comedy by Kim Coates and crew, followed by unintentional comedy by Jeff Fahey.
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