Nancy Drew - How this film escaped going straight to the Bargin Bin at your local Walmart is the biggest mystery this film had to offer. Teen detective Nancy Drew (Emma Roberts) goes from her small town (where the biggest mystery is a stolen library card or who took Mrs. Jenkins brownies) to L.A. At least I think it's L.A. There's nothing that really signifies it as L.A. and no real initiative to make this "fish out of water" experience clever or new.
Am I the only one that thought there would be more black people and gunfire? Annoying as he can be, Chris Tucker (who depressingly has Rush Hour 3 coming out some time soon) would have really livened this movie up. Anything would have. The movie is only 99 minutes long, but it drags like old people (the word I'm looking for rhymes with truck). There are way too many lame montages. Bruce Willis makes a cameo, which makes this officially the worst movie he's ever been in. Armageddon and Die Hard 2 fans must be thrilled.
If there was one big thing (and it's a BIG thing) that this movie lacks, it's credibility. Everyone but Nancy is a blithering moron. No one uses guns, and even non-action fans will find they'd like SOMETHING to happen. I really wanted Nancy to be beaten up, at least once. Something to take that Ray of Sunshine crap away and make her act like a human being. Nancy Drew plunges headfirst out of a moving vehicle and survives being within 10 feet of a bomb going off. Even Roger Moore was semi-credible as 007.
Never mind that her 'friends' are a couple of Clueless rejects, It was a huge mistake to take Nancy Drew out of her era. Here, she's a teenage girl in 2007 with some strange affinity for the 50s, when a woman knew her place. She knows CPR, can perform a tracheotomy, knows how to decorate, never says or does the wrong thing, steals a few tricks from MacGyver, and always drives below the speed limit, even in a car chase. I could call it camp, except we're asked to follow her along on this feeble half-baked mystery that Scrappy Doo could crack and we're supposed to care as she constantly puts her life in danger. There are so many inexcusable sh!t-headed jumps in logic where this mystery is concerned. Why were the badguys trying to keep Nancy from finding the will if they had no idea where it was hidden? Her dad (Tate Donovan, who dresses like Humphrey Bogart, yet has a cellphone) seems more concerned (when he's not on the f*cking phone, what a lame script job) about her not sleuthing anymore than the mystery she's involved in. Max Theriot gets the thankless privilege of being Supergirl's girl.....I mean boyfriend. I could see some talent in him, but the script gives him nothing to do.
Even Corky, the cute chubby sidekick and one or two cute moments can't redeem this cheap piece of crap. The music is elevator quality. The script is below Disney Channel quality. The slo-motion was hilarious for the one of two action scenes. It's all too dumb to be taken seriously, not funny enough to be camp or parody, and too boring to hold anyone's interest. I was one of maybe 20 people in the audience, but oh for the love of all that is holy avoid this movie when your kid asks you to rent it in about two weeks. If you have a g/f or female presence of some sort that asks you to come along, play other movies in your mind when you watch, as I did.
This gets an unredeemable F.
Am I the only one that thought there would be more black people and gunfire? Annoying as he can be, Chris Tucker (who depressingly has Rush Hour 3 coming out some time soon) would have really livened this movie up. Anything would have. The movie is only 99 minutes long, but it drags like old people (the word I'm looking for rhymes with truck). There are way too many lame montages. Bruce Willis makes a cameo, which makes this officially the worst movie he's ever been in. Armageddon and Die Hard 2 fans must be thrilled.
If there was one big thing (and it's a BIG thing) that this movie lacks, it's credibility. Everyone but Nancy is a blithering moron. No one uses guns, and even non-action fans will find they'd like SOMETHING to happen. I really wanted Nancy to be beaten up, at least once. Something to take that Ray of Sunshine crap away and make her act like a human being. Nancy Drew plunges headfirst out of a moving vehicle and survives being within 10 feet of a bomb going off. Even Roger Moore was semi-credible as 007.
Never mind that her 'friends' are a couple of Clueless rejects, It was a huge mistake to take Nancy Drew out of her era. Here, she's a teenage girl in 2007 with some strange affinity for the 50s, when a woman knew her place. She knows CPR, can perform a tracheotomy, knows how to decorate, never says or does the wrong thing, steals a few tricks from MacGyver, and always drives below the speed limit, even in a car chase. I could call it camp, except we're asked to follow her along on this feeble half-baked mystery that Scrappy Doo could crack and we're supposed to care as she constantly puts her life in danger. There are so many inexcusable sh!t-headed jumps in logic where this mystery is concerned. Why were the badguys trying to keep Nancy from finding the will if they had no idea where it was hidden? Her dad (Tate Donovan, who dresses like Humphrey Bogart, yet has a cellphone) seems more concerned (when he's not on the f*cking phone, what a lame script job) about her not sleuthing anymore than the mystery she's involved in. Max Theriot gets the thankless privilege of being Supergirl's girl.....I mean boyfriend. I could see some talent in him, but the script gives him nothing to do.
Even Corky, the cute chubby sidekick and one or two cute moments can't redeem this cheap piece of crap. The music is elevator quality. The script is below Disney Channel quality. The slo-motion was hilarious for the one of two action scenes. It's all too dumb to be taken seriously, not funny enough to be camp or parody, and too boring to hold anyone's interest. I was one of maybe 20 people in the audience, but oh for the love of all that is holy avoid this movie when your kid asks you to rent it in about two weeks. If you have a g/f or female presence of some sort that asks you to come along, play other movies in your mind when you watch, as I did.
This gets an unredeemable F.