Review of Legion of Fire: Killer Ants!

So the movie starts out with a honeymooning couple giggling in the woods when they come upon a giant, muddy hill. The husband says, "Honey, climb to the top of the hill so I can take pictures of you?" And I'm like, "Sure, why not? I'm sure there are no killer ants in that hill..." WRONG!!! Suddenly the wife is being pulled into the hill (after she was clearly tired of being photographed, no less), and when the husband tries to come up to save her, he gets dragged under too. So I'm sitting there saying to myself, "Wow. These must be some big-honkin'-a** ants. I'm intrigued." WRONG AGAIN!!! The ants are about the size of my thumbnail, which makes me think, how in the world could they all climb to the top of the hill and pull two grown humans under. Whatever. The other highlights include one of the natives seeing the skeletal remains of his deceased brother and saying to the coroner, "What could have picked my brother flesh clean," with all the emotion of a bad actor reading cue cards. The ending is silly, and there is, of course, the setup for "Marabunta: Terror in Burline Pines 2." But it's entertaining enough in a bad way that you'll keep watching until the end. A mediocre 4.