Review of Spectres

Spectres (2004)
Them Meg Ryan lips...
31 August 2007
Warning: Spoilers
When I saw Marina Sirtis in the opening scenes I thought that she looked familiar, but couldn't pinpoint where I saw her. But then I checked her bio and realized she was in one of those really awful "Star Trek" spin-offs. Naturally, she gets cast in a cheesy horror/drama/comedy(?). The movie was so forgettable that I kept focusing on Marina's lips, simply because they look exactly like Meg Ryan's, post-lip-enlargement. And Lauren Birkell looks a lot like Thora Birch.

Anyway...

The movie promises at the very outset that it will do its best to rip off "The Sixth Sense" and it doesn't disappoint in that regard. However, while TSS remains somber throughout, something strange happens in this low-budget little movie: half-way through the film, the characters get quite smart-ass-like, things get decidedly tongue-in-cheek, so for a moment there I thought this might become a sitcom. However, dormant comedic passions of the writer and actors settle down, and the movie ends dramatically, without comedy.

The problem with this movie is that after the quick, effective introduction, things move at a slow pace. Plus, there are several scenes that do very little for the plot or characters but just serve as fillers. There are also lines in the dialogue that sound awkward. The best example would be the black psychic saying "How dare you?!" to the shrink; I thought that was worthy of a MST3K stinger! More problems come in the form of bad acting, and I'm referring to the Asian kid and his father. And guess whom they cast in this "serious" movie to play the long-lost Daddy? That IDIOT from that 90s MTV dating show with Jenny McCarthy! What were they thinking? Btw, that "hot-shot" is the son of a bowling "legend". I know, I know: yet more nepotism in movies. And yes, I KNOW: "bowling" and "legend" can't possible go together, it's an oxymoron.

For a movie that is about ghosts, lost souls, and haunted houses where things go "bump", there sure is a severe lack of atmosphere. When a cup of coffee is spilled on the ground it's just boring. The movie just looks and feels flat. As flat as Keira Knightley's pitiful pair...
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