Flash Gordon (2007–2008)
4/10
Not Talented? In Denial about it? Then the Sci-Fi Channel would like to throw money at you.
21 September 2007
Yes, we all love BSG. But what if a creative team were given a show on Sci-Fi... a creative team that THOUGHT they were every bit as creative, talented and original as the BSG team, when in reality they were nowhere close? If this were to happen, the resulting show would be very much like "Flash Gordon." Ancient Hollywood property? Check. Same character names all around? Check. Exciting, new editorial changes, invented to showcase how brilliant the new producers are? You betcha.

Whereas BSG has drama, and tension, and memorable characters, the "writers" of this new Flash Gordon have made a series with none of these things. It's not an action series, it's not funny, there is no dramatic anything. The first episode after the pilot seemed like it was headed in the right direction (insect from Mongo stings Earthling, must rush to get antidote before victim OD's on seratonin), but then it went right back to nonsensical boredom, characters we don't care about on missions we care even less about, with the cheese of the 1980 movie removed and nothing new put back in.

To showcase the "genius" of these new "writers," let's look at their new contributions: they gave Dale a cop boyfriend (tension, fine, whatever), they made Ming's henchman a generic-looking toadie, but one who rides a segway under a trenchcoat, and oh yes, they replaced Ming, an iconic bad guy from the last 80 years, and replaced him with... a generic-looking soap actor, with no facial hair and my dad's haircut. This would be like remaking Star Wars and deciding to replace Darth Vader with Scooby Doo. The producers should be slapped in the face.

Other comments mention the acting, but the acting isn't all bad: the nerdy scientist, the bald best friend (who vanished after the pilot, returned to get stung by that bug, then vanished again), and Flash himself are all decent enough actors, I feel bad for them that they got stuck here. Dale and the cop aren't horrible either, but neither are they given much to do; their performances, as with the bounty hunter and Ming's daughter, are only one note because that's how they're written (as far as we know), though if we recall, Ming's daughter in the 1980 movie was pretty one-note, too.

The staff writers don't seem like they're incompetent, but their bosses are. The direction isn't terrible, but what does it matter when the scripts are boring and empty? After the 4th episode, I was done, and I'm pretty forgiving. Then I watched episode 5 just to see what they did with the Hawkmen. Answer: You don't want to know.

'Flash Gordon' has enough mystique and history as a character and series, that it will overcome this. For all of our sakes, I hope the careers of those responsible for this "show" never, ever recover.

There is no reason to watch this. Even if you're just curious, please just read the bottom line: It's horrible. Don't.
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