We just had Foxtel connected and this used condom of a movie spurted out of my big new 106cm telly last Saturday at 5pm. Programmed for that time by some corporate adult pervert who (gleefully) knew lots of unsuspecting underage teens could be morally loosened up by the cheerful naked sexual party imagery and it's relentlessly degrading depiction of healthy looking 20 something Americans, this 5th element of phallus/orifice adoration is exactly the sort of movie that proves to the rest of the planet that the polluting degraded immorally sexually cretinous USA must be annihilated. As I spilled my cock-porn er I mean popcorn over myself I wondered at these lovely looking 20 year olds, getting a gig in a 'new movie' and enthusiastically telling their families, Mum Dad Aunties and Gran and the littlies, about their fantastic new acting opportunity. And then they all go the to premiere, or worse still, the new DVD is brought home, mum throws a party for the street and then they all sit down together and .... this pus ejaculation (with sprinkles) manifests before them. There is their new family film star reduced to be some frat-boy jerk, near nude with duck-lipped tit-faced chicks each yahoo-ing and whooping at each other while every character behaves like a 'f*ckwit'. Tedious immature embarrassment piled upon scene after scene... with the apparently hilarious 'climax' being where two guys stand naked and erect in front of the whole party and conduct some sort of erection carnival (toss a hoop, etc) .. and one 'hilariously' ejaculates over his pals and their girlfriends in some sort of screenplay teen porn orgy fantasy. The production team of adults far older than the actors who are responsible for this jaw dropping inane pathetic attempt at inferring that this is "university USA fun" should be in Guantanano Bay.
Review of American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile
