Warrior Queen (1987)
3/10
She's not exactly a queen and she doesn't fight much...
25 October 2007
...so the title (and the video cover) could be described as misleading. Sybil Danning does fight off a couple of attackers at the start, and does decapitate one guy with her sword later on, but that's about it. Her character (the mistress of the Roman emperor) barely speaks in this movie. She looks unimpressed by what is going on around her and occasionally even yawns - reflecting the audience's reactions perfectly! Donald Pleasence, as the ruler of Pompeii, is ludicrous; if Sybil doesn't talk enough, Donald talks too much, and at least half of his dialogue is made up from the same three words, repeated ad nauseam: "My lovely highness". The rest of the cast includes Rick - "Deathstalker" - Hill, and a Lou Ferrigno-lookalike, and some beautiful women. The movie has literally NO PLOT - for 55 minutes we are watching these people do nothing, until it's time for Vesuvius to erupt and Pompeii to be destroyed. This climactic disaster sequence is OK for the budget standards of the movie, but it's obvious that stock footage was inserted at some points. (*)
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