Review of Dying God

Dying God (2008)
2/10
It's got awful in spades
9 July 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I won't go so far as to call this movie "the worst I've ever seen" (as is so common on IMDb)...mostly because if you can point to one movie as the worst ever you clearly haven't watched enough crap. But yeah...this is just plain horrible. Where to start? First of all, it's kind of sad to watch Lance Henriksen fall lower and lower. He's gone from "that one guy in Alien" to stuff like this shot-on-video affair. Second of all, even if you're on a limited budget (which this obviously was), trying hiring a lead actor that does not have the looks and acting abilities of a bit part daytime soap player. That part may even go double for not hiring a soft-core porn "star" as a supporting role. And while I'm thinking about it, look over your script to make sure it isn't repulsively boring and trite. That may be the most important part.

The movie basically starts with us being forced to explore the life of Sean Fallon a burned out cop (or detective?) whose wife left when he couldn't knock her up. Now he pretty much gets by on booze and hookers. My, how original. Then he catches a case where someone or something is killing off hookers by (get this) raping them. Now I don't know what town you live in, but in this city if someone started offing hookers in a hilariously ironic fashion it would likely be seen more as a public service than something to form a task force about. Then again, this is explained away by mentioning two or three times that it's "election time". Sure, whatever. As luck would have it, some quasi-demon/mythological beast/lame special effect with a huge wang is killing off all the girls in an effort to mate. Ugh...is it over yet? The movie starts slow and fails to build any steam or interest and before long you may start to think about washing your mouth out with buckshot. Nearly everything is so boringly unoriginal and uninteresting that it's a wonder anyone would even consider funding this steaming pile. Henriksen is good enough, but not nearly enough to take focus off of the rest of this crap. Even the demon/whatever is a sloppy special effects nightmare that looks like it was raided from the parts bin from those old live-action "Guyver" movies. There is nothing redeemable here...nothing interesting or original. Just a tired wreck that will make you ashamed to belong to the same species as these people.
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