Where, oh where, to begin describing this crapfest? Straight-to-DVD sequels and prequels (which this is, despite the confusing title) usually turn out to be generic, half-baked, B-grade (at best) snoozefests that are made for the sake of cashing in on the popularity of the original. "Scorpion King 2", however, takes the cake in its craptastic acting, plot, and special effects.
As soon as the film starts, you're greeted with cardboard cutouts fighting each other with names scrolling across their nameless, faceless (and pointless!) bodies. You're also forced to listen to a bored-sounding narrator ramble about events and people you could care less about; that is, unless your remote comes with a mute button. Afterwards, you're treated to scenes of utter predictability, stacked on top of porno-grade acting. As for the special effects, the plastic scorpions crawling and "stinging" Mathayias's father were right up there with the "enchanted" heat-seeking arrow (total rip-off of Patriot Arrow, by the way).
My fiancé and I couldn't get but barely twenty minutes into the movie, and that was only because we kept ourselves amused by making fun of it periodically (think "Mystery Science Theater 3000"). We lent it to his brother to watch, and he turned it off after the opening credits. Don't get us wrong. We've actually enjoyed some straight-to-DVD movies, and we were hoping that this could've been one of the exceptions to the rule. Unfortunately, this movie failed in more ways than even Einstein himself could count.
Overall, don't even waste your time and money renting this film, even if Red Box offers you the movie free of charge. You'll only be sadly, sadly disappointed, and you'll never be able to get back the time you spent watching it (assuming you could even sit through it). In fact, it's too bad one is the lowest rating you can give it. I mean, given the choice between poking your eye out and watching this movie, my fiancé and I have come to the consensus that we'd rather poke our eyes out.
As soon as the film starts, you're greeted with cardboard cutouts fighting each other with names scrolling across their nameless, faceless (and pointless!) bodies. You're also forced to listen to a bored-sounding narrator ramble about events and people you could care less about; that is, unless your remote comes with a mute button. Afterwards, you're treated to scenes of utter predictability, stacked on top of porno-grade acting. As for the special effects, the plastic scorpions crawling and "stinging" Mathayias's father were right up there with the "enchanted" heat-seeking arrow (total rip-off of Patriot Arrow, by the way).
My fiancé and I couldn't get but barely twenty minutes into the movie, and that was only because we kept ourselves amused by making fun of it periodically (think "Mystery Science Theater 3000"). We lent it to his brother to watch, and he turned it off after the opening credits. Don't get us wrong. We've actually enjoyed some straight-to-DVD movies, and we were hoping that this could've been one of the exceptions to the rule. Unfortunately, this movie failed in more ways than even Einstein himself could count.
Overall, don't even waste your time and money renting this film, even if Red Box offers you the movie free of charge. You'll only be sadly, sadly disappointed, and you'll never be able to get back the time you spent watching it (assuming you could even sit through it). In fact, it's too bad one is the lowest rating you can give it. I mean, given the choice between poking your eye out and watching this movie, my fiancé and I have come to the consensus that we'd rather poke our eyes out.